Darrin’s Family

HOW JESSICA AND I MET:

God certainly works in mysterious ways! Looking forward, we don’t always know where God is leading us, how were going to get there, or what the journey will be like. But often times, when we look back on our lives we can plainly see that God has worked and is working in our lives. I know for me that’s at least partially where I get my faith that He’s leading me now and will lead me in the future.

My wife, Jessica and I met of all places on a blind date at the Colorado State Fair. Neither one of us wanted to go because her friends had set this up with my brother. They were playing match maker and neither I nor Jessica wanted to play. But, ultimately we went, met each other, dated for about a year and the rest is history!

MY WIFE’S AMAZING STORY:

Jessica had been in a car wreck when she was 14 years of age. This wreck caused her severe brain damage and required 3 separate brain surgeries just to keep her alive. The prognosis was not positive. Her dad was told she would certainly never walk again, and likely not be able to ever take care of herself again. But, praise be to God for He had different plans for her life. Throughout many years and after grueling physical therapy Jessica was once again able to walk, talk, care for herself and others! When I met her she was 17 and still had a long way to go in her recovery. But during the time we courted I saw some things in her that I loved right away.

First, she loved the Lord. There was no doubt in her mind that He was with her that day of the accident, throughout the surgeries, throughout her years of therapy and that He was continuing to guide her life. She didn’t think she was “lucky” to have survived, she knew she was blessed. Her faith was impressive and I was so very thankful that God had led me to someone who loved Him first above all else!

Second, she had a spirit of determination. The accident, injury and subsequent brain surgeries did cause Jessica some permanent brain damage that she will likely never recover from. It is very difficult for her to read and write. Two things she used to love to do so very much. Jessica struggles with many of the daily functions that you and I would not even give a second thought to. But, while these areas of her brain were damaged, the artistic centers of the brain were heightened. Jessica plays the piano, writes songs and absolutely loves to express herself through music. She absolutely loves acapella singing and could sing for hours every day. She has a beautiful voice and I’ve come to see that this is certainly one of the talents she has that God has blessed her with.

The first song she ever wrote after her accident was called “Never Give Up.” The first time I heard her play that song, I knew she was the one for me. Here was a young lady who truly understood what it meant to be beautiful from the inside out. I’ve always considered myself a very blessed man to have her in my life.

To be honest, some of my best friends tried to talk me out of marrying her. They feared I would be getting into a situation that I couldn’t handle. Jessica does have permanent disabilities: She is unable to drive, unable to hold down a job and needs things to be explained to her several times and in certain ways for her to understand. Even then, she rarely understands things the way you or I would. So, there certainly were challenges going into our marriage and most of those challenges are still there on some level or another.  But, when it comes to the most important things, Jessica is still a very capable woman. She does an excellent job in caring for our children. She keeps our house and home running smoothly while still finding time to serve the church in many ways. She works in the nursery, volunteers in the church’s clothing ministry, opens our home up and is a most gracious host when we have Home Bible Studies and other get-togethers.

Jessica is an amazing woman of faith. I’ve never met anyone with more kindness, compassion, patience and love than my wife. I thank God for her every day and have no doubt that he led us to each other.

MY ILLNESS AND IT’S EFFECT ON MY FAMILY:

This past summer, Jessica and I celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary together. It was a joyous occasion and we decided to make it even more special by renewing our vows. We have had a wonderful fifteen years together and feel our love for each other has only grown stronger. When I decided I wanted to go into the ministry after lots of encouragement from my friend and mentor Bill Williams, I wondered how my wife Jessica would respond to such a course of action. Being a preacher’s wife is not an easy job. But, I have to say that Jessica felt the call to the ministry just as strong as I did. Not only does she support and encourage me, but she consistently works for God daily by serving the congregation and teaching younger ladies by the example she sets.

For eight years we had settled in to living a life of full-time service to our Lord and Master. During these years our two children, Kellie & Natasha were brought into this world and our cup was overflowing with blessing. Then, in September of 2005, I was diagnosed with this condition called “Poly Arteritis Nodosa” (PAN). Neither of us knew what it was, or that it was serious. It was only after studying more on the Internet and meeting with the doctors that we learned how very serious this condition is.

Jessica took the news very hard. She didn’t know what to do, how to handle something like this. To be honest, I didn’t either. You see, up until this day, I had always been the caregiver. I cared for her and helped her to do those things she couldn’t do for herself. She was used to being the one on the gurney in the hospital having tests run and fighting to get better. I was used to being the one standing by her side, holding her hand, waiting those long hours in the waiting room and praying through tears that things would be ok. Now, all of a sudden our roles were reversed! I was on the hospital bed and extremely scared. She was by the side of the bed and in the waiting room, also very afraid.

These past three years have been very difficult. I have had to learn how to be a patient, one that fights and keeps fighting. Jessica has had to learn to be that caregiver, one that prays and somehow finds the courage to keep on going. This was overwhelming on so many levels that it was easy to be driven to the point of despair. But we’ve learned that God really doesn’t give you more than you can handle. And while this was something that truly came out of left field, we did our best to have faith and to trust the Father that we would make it through.

THE BLESSING OF A CHURCH FAMILY:

You know it is times like these that I am most thankful that I have a church family. I often wonder how folks in the world get through, without it. Each and every day, I am thankful to God for the church family we have. The congregation here in Gunnison helped us tremendously and not just financially. They helped Jessica and I to learn and to accept these new roles we found ourselves in. They gave us encouragement, compassion and love. And they still give us all those things in abundance.

The struggle now has been more in the financial area. During the first two years on the illness the medical bills ran about $25,000.00 each year. This was because so many tests had to be done to discover how bad the disease was. It was also because I ended up in the Emergency room many times with uncontrolled pain.  The one thing this condition seems to excel at is causing a great amount of pain.

I’m happy to say that this congregation helped us through those finances. Without their help, we would be in a disastrous situation financially. Now in this third year and for the foreseeable future, it looks like my primary expenses will be medications, blood tests, and regular exams. This won’t cost as much per year, but it is still a burden that is just too much for our family to pay for alone.

Our children have come to understand our medical situation a little better now that they’re older. One day as I was taking the girls to school, Kellie said to me, “Dad, I wish my mom didn’t have a disability and you didn’t have a disease.” I told her, “Well, Kellie I  wish we didn’t have these challenges either, but in truth everyone has something. Every family deals with something. Some kids live with only one parent, others may have no parents and still others have abusive parents.” I tried to remind her how very blessed we are. Because, in spite of all that has happened in the past three years, I still feel that my cup overflows with blessing.

THANK YOU!

I wanted to share this information with all of you, because my family is at least as important as the doctors in my road back to good health. They have faithfully stood by me through all of this. My parents drive me to many of my appointments since Jessica cannot drive. I thank God for them and their love and support through all of this. So many, have gone above and beyond the call of duty. My thanks to all of them. And I want to thank all of you who have taken the time to read my story, perhaps offered up a prayer on behalf of me and my family, and if you are able to help even further by donating to my medical fund, please know that I am eternally grateful to you. Thank you all for listening.

May God Bless you and your family,

Darrin Cowger, Minister
Gunnison Church of Christ
darrincowger@yahoo.com